Jun 16 Happy Father’s Day to My Dad…All Month Long!
So, I’m surprising my favorite old negro with a late but well-deserved Father’s Day gift. This guy is even more of my favorite than Samuel L. Jackson, Morgan Freeman, and Barack Obama (y’all aged the president people). This guy taught me everything I know about being a man and only half of what he knows about being a man. Gee, thanks? This man is none other than my dad James Dassaw. I do not know his middle name after all these years. Like I know it and I don’t know it or I forget it and then I remember it and then amnesia sets in. This is the original Brother Dassaw, the original man of the house the window grass cutting barrel checking Negro spiritual singing son of a gun you will ever know. This man has styled and profiled.
The funny thing is I have an always appreciated him as my dad. Disclaimer: this is my adopted father. Growing up I was afraid of him because I was that foster kid that was afraid of big scary things. My dad has always been a massive black Negro. He was tall, had a loud voice and owned the room he was in. And so naturally being a ward of the State I drifted to sweeter light-voiced people. Jump forward several years, I began to watch my dad and learn what kind of man he was. This was a man that worked hard and didn’t mind it yet he was clean and his laundry smelled great. I can’t tell you the times I confused my clothes with his. No, not underwear.
The Early Years
He was in he is also the man who never put his hands on his wife. He was strong and firm with his children yet gentle and dealing with life lessons. I learned how to be a provider and father figure from watching him. Now don’t get me wrong, this man was tough and heavy handed. Don’t let them catch you with your thumb in your mouth. That was a no-no. But one of my fondest memories of him involved me and my sister. Now, when it came to worship service and going to church you did not go to sleep, you did not play, and you did not get in trouble with your teachers. Well one Sunday, me and my sister got in trouble for fighting over something. I can’t remember what it was. And my dad always had this phrase where you knew you were going to get it when you got home. He would say, “You and I have a date.” I can insert the shocked face emoji right here. When he would say that I would picture of calendar and I just knew that was the end of life as I knew it. (Keep scrolling for more…)
Well that’s not what happens. He takes me and my sister home after church and he brings us into the dining room and brings out the Bible. And he takes us to the scripture that talks about honoring your mother and father in the Lord for this is right…That your days on the earth may be long. And I think he made us read it out loud and kind of do that call and response thing where you read up to a certain point that he asked you what is the next part say to make sure that you really understand it. And that was one of those moments that made me realize that my dad wasn’t always going to discipline me the way I thought. I saw another side to him and realize there was more to this man.
The College Days
Jump forward mini mini years later and we’re in my college years. Me and my dad grew even closer when he helped me out regarding a girl I was dating. My dad always has had a great relationship with his daughters. He has so many of them and when I started dating this one girl he almost instantaneously took her as one of his daughters. It was so amazing that my dad would do things like let me borrow his car and drive 40 minutes to her house and back. Or he would let me pay him in cash and use his credit card so I can get a rental to drive to her as I did not have my own car at that time. And even after she and I broke up my dad took me to go buy my first car with my own money of course. My dad was really big on making sure especially the men in the family were self-sustaining a good stand on their own 2 feet. He had all values that I myself adopt today and won’t change for anything. Through the years we just grew closer and closer together and I think I begin to really make him proud when it came To my work in the church and even when I started helping my friend with her male child.
The Whole Point:
You don’t find a lot of men like my dad who are true to their word, is authentic and honest and tries to be a great example to the people around him. My dad is very old-school and his upbringing really affected the person that he has today. But that comes with a lot of benefits.
The respect I have for authority, women etc. comes from what he help Porten to me. My mom had a great hand in that too. But there was always that fear that if dad had to deal with me on something that I already knew better, it wasn’t going to be handled the way mom is going to handle. That was the big boss at the end of that level. But my dad always show that being a man had purpose and requires work that every man needs to embrace.
I’m dedicating this post to my dad during this father recognition month. He’s been through a lot and he’s done a lot. May God bless him with many more years to come so you can keep doing a lot. Happy Father’s Day Dad! I love you, you old Negro.