My Favorite High School Crush of All Time

Heads up, this blog is just for laughs. Enjoy the short read…

Let me just put this out there, those are not any of my crushes…I don’t remember open-mouth girl and the one I’m hugging was just so soft and…Anyway, I digress. Today, it’s a talk about crushes. Now, for me, high school saw so many crushes come and go, but there were 3 that lingered even after graduation. These were my deepest and top 3 favorite high school crushes of all time. Disclaimer: to protect the identities and to mitigate the shade I’m about to throw, the names have been changed.

Jack Knife


Jack Knife was my first Black Latina crush. We were in the magnet together. She was cute with the curliest hair and braces. Her lips were so rosado. She was a dream. But this girl couldn’t stand my Black ahh. She and her friend (real name) Rachel were just too mature for me and my friends. I think 90% of the time she was fake laughing at my jokes, the little traitor. But I couldn’t shake my crush.


Then one day out of nowhere, she just left. Just moved away from the school. Away from South Florida too I think…I eventually found her on Facebook. She had a whole kid and a whole entire boyfriend. That was a chance in hell that wasn’t going to happen.



I’m already laughing at this one because of all the shade to come. So Sabertooth was the longest high school crush I had. I had a crush on her from freshman year all the way through college. Like I even had hopes after she had her first kid. But Sabertooth was mean. I backed into her one day in the cafeteria by accident and this she-bat literally put her lunch tray on the ground and chased me around the cafeteria. I have never ran so fast in my life!


The crazy thing about her was all through high school, she had the worst breath. I mean her breath melted gum, stopped time and made demons cry. I always liked her from a distance. But when I got close I was brought into reality…hard! But eventually she got it fixed…along with having 2 more kids. But what I remember most was this Haitian’s lips. They were so gawjus!



The difference between Galactus and the rest of the crushes is she was not from high school. But she was my super crush from freshman year all the way through college. I was head over hills…heels? High heels? Whatever, I was cray cray about her. Why? She was the pretty girl at the time I hadn’t liked. She was mean though. Like she would catch an attitude at a box of matches but I enjoyed all that. I guess it was the experience of enjoying the chase. Never came close to dating her though…where are we today? This lady is fertile. Someone shook her hand one day and out popped a baby. Shook her hand twice and boom! She had farm. Sneezed too hard and half the school district were her kids. I still be crushing every once in a while.

I really think I dodged a bullet there.

High school was definitely my favorite time in life with college being a close second. I liked more girls in school than I can count on all my hands. There was a lot of… anyway, if I had to pick one crush out of all of them that was my all time favorite, it would have to be Sabertooth. Mean as heck with an even meaner breath, but that’s an L we can fix.

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